Maybe if I start selling my body you can have a fancy stroller...

Dear Monster,

I love you, but..... You cost a lot of money. I don't really like that about you. I hope you enjoy my cheap breastmilk because we won't have any money to feed you caviar.

Here is a short list of other items I don't want to buy for you because they cost so much money.

• A breast pump. Maybe we can milk Kohl like a cow and store the breast milk in one of the tupperware bowls from the cupboard.
• A crib. Hopefully you will enjoy the pile of straw we bunched together for you to sleep in.
• Diapers. Pooping in the toilet isn't so bad. You will get used to it.
• Toys. Enjoy sucking on the remote, books, dvd cases, and wooden spoons from the kitchen.
• Shoes. Honestly? Tiny feet don't need to be covered up. The only reason we have shoes is because most people have gross feet.
• Extra Curricular sports/activities. You will have to borrow or steal someone's football pads or learn how to take a hit without one. They are expensive.
• A car. You can walk. Maybe by then we can afford a pair of shoes for you.
• Health/Dental insurance. Band aids should cover you.
• Last but not least.... College. Say goodbye to education and awesome college parties. You won't be seeing these unless you can get a job as a janitor at a nearby school.

Maybe things won't be so bad, your mom and dad can deal drugs on the side.

Love,

Kohl & Vernon's Bank Account

Vernon and I went a bought a travel system for the monster. I picked out a couple that I liked and we waited until we could trade in an old stroller (from a friend which is greatly appreciated) to get a discount on a new stroller. Well turns out it wasn't that awesome of a discount anyways and we were misinformed of the prices. Oh well, we bought the stroller and now we can tote this baby around to places. As long as these places don't require us to spend money.

How do people do it? I'm not buying anything crazy and fancy? Ugh, it is frustrating because I want to buy everything at once and get it over with but we need to wait and be responsible with our finances. At least we aren't in debt... thank goodness for that.